Learn more about 18 common phrases people use to manipulate you. Sometimes you see someone trying to take advantage of you when it’s too late.
However, there are often hints in abusive relationships that might help you see the red light and walk away safely.
People who are skilled manipulators tend to use phrases and words that give them away.
The following are 18 phrases commonly used to manipulate you.
1) Calm down!
It is one of those common phrases people use to manipulate you.
“Calm down!” is an effective way to tell someone to shut up or stop being agitated while appearing concerned for them.
It is also a means of gaining the upper hand in a dispute or conflict.
If somebody is telling you to calm down, they are generally demonstrating that they have succeeded in making you upset and have thrown you off balance.
Telling you to “calm down” is their way of laughing at you, and telling you that you are losing your excellent means your point of view is also invalid, and you should walk away.
2) If you really cared, you would…
“If you cared, you would…” is another unsettling example of a prevalent phrase used to influence others.
Typically, this is the first action in a chain of incredibly exploitative techniques.
You might be considering, “If I lent you that money…” or “If I apologize to you for cheating on you…” or something along those lines.
This language context is ideal for lying, justifying, and manipulating because it puts the onus of “caring” on you and requires you to give in to the other person’s demands or agree with them.
3) It seems like you’ve never really loved me.
It’s common for people in romantic relationships to use this term to take advantage of you.
There’s something fundamentally poisonous about needing to “prove” your love for someone.
What use would it be to show someone you care about them if they couldn’t tell that you were acting out of genuine emotion, guilt, or obligation?
Guilt-based or coerced love is not love.
4) You’re the only one who can help.
Up next is this absolute gem!
It places all the responsibility on you, and you feel compelled to act immediately and offer assistance; otherwise, you will be accountable if something terrible happens to this person.
Someone may approach you on the street and ask for cash, or a buddy may come to you for a loan since no one else will help him.
Regardless of its shape, this is a classic manipulative phrase since it only relies on you to carry the burden.
5) Can you just help me out a bit?
It’s a common manipulative phrase.
It’s a fact that we all require assistance at some point.
But by couching this in “just” and “a bit,” the speaker emphasizes that not assisting or being unable to help would be highly selfish or unjust.
6) Why can’t you just listen to what I’m saying?
It’s just another one of those overused statements designed to get what they want out of you.
It’s a sign that you must try harder to understand because you need the intelligence or interest to do so.
The intention behind this statement is not only to belittle but also to disregard. It’s a tactic to pressure you into agreeing with the other person’s perspective and story without question or risking the accusation that you’re “not listening.”
7) I’ve been trying to go easy on you, but…
Whether it’s your boss at work or an abusive partner at home, this is another typical term used to exert control over you.
It’s a way of saying that the other person “tried” to treat you well and see the best in you, but you ultimately made them treat you brutally.
It’s a typical example of victimization rhetoric that people who want to harm or take advantage of someone use.
8) You haven’t changed at all.
Of course, you can also mean something lovingly or affectionately.
However, it is typically a manipulative word said out of frustration.
It reduces you to a negative stereotype people already have about you, forcing you to “prove” or “earn” your way out of it.
This expression encourages you to pretend you’re someone else to prove you’ve changed (hint: it’s by caving into the other person’s demands and opinions).
9) Let me handle it; don’t worry.
Deception is familiar with this remark. A close friend or an unknown individual could say it.
The message’s main point is to back off and let them handle it.
This frequently occurs when the other party contradicts your best interests.
10) Stop trying to control me.
Understandably, no one enjoys being watched or feeling under constant surveillance.
That is not true; Being said, to coerce you into letting this person do whatever they want, no matter how dangerous or detrimental to themselves or others.
Teens rebelling against their parents and wishing to use this statement to get their parents to loosen up on their rules and restrictions often resort to this strategy.
11) Are we all good?
This question asks whether an apology is accepted or whether feelings toward the offender have improved.
It compels you to agree with the statement or press on with an argument or touchy subject.
If someone asks you if everything is “all good,” it’s because they are eager and ready for it to end; if you aren’t, it’s your responsibility to resolve it.
This is a typical gaslighting word unless someone checks in to see if you’re okay after getting an apology.
12) You won’t regret this!
After “I promise you this,” “You won’t regret this!” is another typical phrase used to persuade you.
Perhaps you won’t.
However, if someone tells you that you won’t regret doing anything, chances are high that you will.
If someone tells you to “chill out,” they are probably trying to trick you into doing something that isn’t in your best interest.
13) I have no idea why you feel that way.
It’s another example of how some people find it hard to believe.
It “otherizes” you by highlighting your unreasonable and incomprehensible emotions.
It tells you that whatever you feel is not valid and that you shouldn’t insist on it.
14) You’re crazy.
The second most common manipulation phrase is “You’re crazy.”
It means that what you’re saying or feeling is so far out there that it’s not worth listening to.
Whatever you’re doing or saying is without merit and cannot debate.
15) You made me do it.
This is a typical word used in gaslighting.
The above is one variation, but there are others, such as “I never used to be this way before you…” or “I wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t so…”
The gist of the accusation is that you are to fault for someone else’s actions.
What a master manipulator.
16) You need help understanding.
It’s another of those allegedly manipulative sentences.
It’s certainly conceivable that your confusion is justified. In many cases, gaining additional information and clarification would be beneficial.
However, they frequently used manipulation to put someone down or gaslight them.
Remember, you “don’t understand” is often just a ploy to get you to accept someone else’s interpretation of the world.
17) What do you think about opening our relationship?
Another one of those deceptive romantic expressions shows up here. Usually, a person who has lost interest in you but still wants to maintain the relationship will communicate this to you.
18) What more do you want from me?
This statement is another of the platitudes commonly used to exert influence on others.
It means the other person has made every effort to improve the situation and that you are being excessively critical.
Perceiving this individual’s other expectations or desires as cruel or irrational is the norm. This phrase means to manipulate.
Have better luck next time.
Unfortunately, some people resort to commonly used phrases to manipulate others. It’s essential to be aware and mindful of these tactics to avoid falling into their traps. There are instances when they are said wholly and honestly.
Frequently, these actions are an effort by someone to control and influence you into complying with their desires and participating in their plans. Be wary if you hear a spouse, friend, family member, coworker, or boss using these statements with you.
They’re probably attempting to exploit you unfairly!